Buddhist Belief – Is My Practice Good or Bad?
“Through consistent practice we develop the skill of mindfulness, which allows us to detect with great precision the often subtle self-referential ideas and body sensations as they arise in each act of perception. We also develop equanimity so that we can allow these ideas and body sensations to expand and contract without suppression, interference, or clinging. Eventually, contact with the sense of self becomes so continuous that there is no time left to congeal or fixate it. The self then becomes clarified in the sense that it is no longer experienced as an opaque, rigid, ever-present entity, but rather as a transparent, elastic, vibratory activity. It loses ‘thingness.’ We realize that it is a verb, not a noun; a wave, not a particle. According to this paradigm, what is let go of is the unconsciousness and ‘holding’ associated with those ideas and body sensations which produce a sense of self. The sense of self becomes a home rather than a prison. You can come and go freely. ”~~~ Shinzen Young
I’ve been thinking quite a bit about some of the discursive thoughts I get so often when I’m in the midst of a meditation practice. Among those thoughts are the ones where I’m pondering whether I’m going about my practice according to the lessons I’ve learned in my study of Buddhist Belief. Questions come to mind about whether my practice is too shallow or too deep – or not deep enough. This is usually followed by further thoughts about how trying to make decisions along these lines are only subjective.
I can remember some of the retreats I’ve attended during my life and how I often fell victim to making comparisons while in the meditation hall. There was an instance where someone had burst out crying during one of the longer meditations. I recall my own thought at the time was that this person isn’t doing very well. I wondered if they were experiencing pain (which isn’t all that uncommon during long sits). As I think back on this, I can imagine what some of the other thoughts might have been going through other minds that day. Someone may have been thinking, “Maybe this person just broke through to enlightenment!” Someone else might have been thinking, “This person might have really lost it!”
None of these thoughts had any bearing on the truth, though, did they? Whether this person felt pain or sorrow – or whether they had become enlightened – or even if they just totally lost it – it was that person’s business and that person’s only. It wasn’t my business or anyone else’s business. What those of us with these thoughts were doing was making judgments of others.
I know I sure was guilty of it, especially at some of the longer retreats in my past. I’d be sitting there in agony sometimes and see some of the others appearing to be so darn comfortable. I’d think, “How can they do that? Don’t their legs hurt? Their backs have to be aching. I know mine are both killing me!”
Then, a few minutes later I’d see someone make a rather strained move to adjust their position and I’d think, “Alright! They’re not so special after all – they must be hurting too!” I’d find myself being happy someone else was feeling some pain just like I was. Not a good thing!
These are examples of how we can get into the habit of comparing ourselves with others. Our study of the dharma does teach this is not a good way to alleviate suffering for ourselves or others.
There is another type of comparison which can also lead to some misery – and that is when we compare ourselves with ourselves. Using the retreat scenario for an example of what I mean here, I can recall the times where during the first few days I would be having a miserable time of it. The long practice sessions would bring about aching legs – aching back – discomfort to the ultimate – just not getting into the spirit of the practice at all. This would lead to a variety of discursive thoughts about many of my other problems which I’d hoped to leave behind.
But then, a few days into the retreat I realized I was having great meditations. I felt good – nothing hurt – I was able to stay completely focused on my breath or my mantra. My body was comfortable – my mind was calm. I was delighted with how I’d adapted to the retreat and felt that I had really “got it!” However, I was becoming so enamored with my “success” that I was becoming attached to the “success” and lost my focus after a short while. Then, of course, I began to berate myself for being so “into it” one minute and so “out of it” the next.
What I needed to learn was how comparing “good” and “bad” was just more deluded thinking. I feel one of the secrets for those of us here in the west is to learn to meditate deeply and not concern ourselves with what’s going on around us or within ourselves. We live in a society of multitaskers. We’ve been trained to rely on what others do or think in order to figure out where we fit in. We’ve been trained to be highly competitive. We have this need to be better than the other person. I can remember an old saying which was popular in my youth back in the late 30s and early 40s — “The cream always rises to the top” – meaning the best part of something – or the best person in the group – will be the most successful – will be better than the rest.
(Unless you are in my age group and can recall getting your milk delivered to your front porch in glass bottles by a guy driving a horse and wagon, you may not know about how the cream would rise to the top of the milk bottle and how sweet and tasty it was. Also, before whipped cream started to come out of push-button cans, people used to whip the cream on top of the milk to make the wonderful tasting delight to put on top of the pumpkin pie or the chocolate sundae.)
The point in this post is to learn to focus fully on our meditation practice without making internal or external comparisons. What happens is we become attached to these comparisons. We cling to them because we feel we can’t be “us” without them. We think if we’re not separate and unique, we’re not worthy.
Once we learn to use mindfulness in our meditation – once we learn to suppress our need to compare – once we can learn to do this our practice will become much more effective.
Metta ….May I be well and happy. My I live in safety. May I be healthy and strong. May I live with ease. May all beings be well and happy. May all beings live in safety. May all beings be healthy and strong. May all beings live with ease.
Namaste — Be in Peace.
Ron Rink
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One of the regular readers of this blog let me know about his own blog where he is writing about his study of Buddhist Belief and his journey in the practice. I think you would really enjoy it. His name is David M. Schmidt and his blog can be found at http://www.wellhappypeaceful.com. Check it out – I think you’ll learn a lot from what he has to say and to travel along with him as he writes about his experiences with the study of the dharma.
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Just click the links that are sort of Grey in color to take you to where you can learn more about each book and how you can purchase a copy for your own library.
Stephanie Kaza — Hooked!: Buddhist Writings on Greed, Desire, and the Urge to Consume
Stephanie Kaza, an amazing writer and Buddhist teacher I knew from my 36 years living in Vermont, gathers key Buddhist thinkers to reflect upon aspects of consumerism, greed and economics. Certainly, many other authors have examined consumerism from the lens of their religious traditions, but this book’s Buddhist perspective is unusual, and its pairing of consumerist critiques with core Buddhist concepts is generally fruitful. Check this one out! Hooked!
Stephanie Kaza — Mindfully Green: A Personal and Spiritual Guide to Whole Earth Thinking
Another one from my Vermont friend — Stephanie Kaza, a biologist and professor of Environmental Studies at University of Vermont, combines Zen Buddhist practices and teachings with her 40 years as an environmentalist for this guide to enlightened environmentalism, proposing a belief in the interdependence of people and nature as the genuine way to “go green”: “When we come to see ourselves as part of the green web of life… we are naturally drawn to respond with compassion.” A good read for Buddhists or anyone from any religion. Mindfully Green
Anam Thubten — No Self – No Problem
No Self – No Problem
shows how to realize the ultimate meaning of life in each moment by dissolving all notions of ego-identity. It asks that spiritual seekers wake up to their true nature, which is already enlightened. Based on Buddhist wisdom traditions, this easy-to-read book discusses in simple, but profound and inspiring language, how we can live a life full of love, satisfaction, and happiness. No Self – No Problem
Sharon Salzberg — The Kindness Handbook
“It takes boldness, even audacity, to step out of our habitual patterns and experiment with a quality like kindness–to work with it and see just how it might shift and open up our lives. This book is an invitation to do just that. — From The Kindness Handbook
Eckhart Tolle’s amazing best seller, A New Earth
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s wonderful book, My Stroke of Insight: Nirvana is just a breath away!
And this one by Sharon Salzberg and is entitled: A Heart as Wide as the World: Living with Mindfulness, Wisdom and Compassion“.
This is a new one for you by Pema Chodron entitled: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times
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Always remember this wonderful quote from Buddha ….
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”~~~ Buddha
Shanti everyone, … (A sanscrit word meaning, “Let there be Peace. Peace, beautiful Peace. Peace within, Peace without. Peace in this world. Peace for all beings.”)
“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”~~~ Buddha
Have a peaceful day!! —
Ron Rink
P.S. If you’d like to read my memoir/novel, you can access it here:
http://www.wecould2.com
