Buddhist Belief Blog

Well, here we are back again with more thoughts about anger. As I keep reading and studying this topic, I’m beginning to see the connection between anger and fear. I’m also seeing how egotism comes into the picture. In our training about Buddhist Beliefs, and as I mentioned last time, there’s considerable emphasis put on lovingkindness, compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance.

Often, when anger takes hold, we have a tendency to become more paranoid, despondent and hopeless. I find this happening to me more and more as I watch the way our country and the world is dealing with important issues. One thing to keep in mind is this fact – we all have anger. It’s part of being human. The Dalai Lama himself admits his own anger. He and some of the other great Buddhist teachers, like Thich Nhat Hanh, for example, get angry as well. When you think about what they have been through, their anger seems justified, doesn’t it? Yet, their anger doesn’t seem to destroy their peace of mind and serenity. They’ve figured out how to purify and transform themselves.

Buddhist author Ani Thubten Chodron has written: “Science says that all emotions are natural and okay, and that emotions become destructive only when they are expressed in an inappropriate way or time or to an inappropriate person or degree. Therapy is aimed more at changing the external expression of the emotions than the internal experience of them. Buddhism, on the other hand, believes that destructive emotions themselves are obstacles and need to be eliminated to have happiness.”

Take a moment now and think about the last time you really felt anger arising in your mind and body. At first, there’s just a glimmer of this emotion – a feeling – which hasn’t turned into violence or aggression as yet. It’s at this precise point where we can still learn to deal with it. It’s at this point where, if we we could stop and notice what is happening inside – become mindful of it – and then make the choice to turn on the patience and introspection rather than the violence and aggression, there would be a dramatic difference in the outcome.

Let’s face it, at that moment where you realize you’re about to blow up – it’s at that moment of time where you will be able to make a choice. In fact, it is at that moment where we always make a choice, even if we’re not aware we’re doing so. If we could learn to be aware of that moment and rather than become aggressive or destructive, we could, instead, make the choice to use patience and compassion – wouldn’t our life be more enjoyable?

When feeling hatred, cultivate forgiveness and equanimity, try to empathize with the other and see where they are coming from — see things through their eyes for a moment, if you can. If moved towards aggression, try to breathe, relax, quiet and calm your agitated mind. Strive for restraint and moderation, remembering that others are just like yourself – they want and need happiness and wish to avoid pain and suffering just like you do.

The Vietnamese zen master, poet and activist Thich Nhat Hanh says: “Our attitude is to take care of anger. We don’t suppress it or hate it, or run away from it. We just breathe gently and cradle our anger in our arms with the utmost tenderness.”

As is customary with this blog, so much of it is written for my own personal edification. I find I can use decent wisdom when I think about what others are going through, yet, when it comes to myself, I often feel like I haven’t learned a thing. So, I guess there’s more work to do. I sincerely hope the fact that I can talk (write) a better game than I seem able to play, will be of help to you.

In the meantime …..

Metta ….May all beings be well and happy. May all beings live in safety. May all beings be healthy and strong. May all beings live with ease.

Namaste — Be in Peace.

Ron Rink

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Just click the links that are sort of Grey in color to take you to where you can learn more about each book and how you can purchase a copy for your own library.

Anam Thubten — No Self – No Problem

No Self – No Problem
shows how to realize the ultimate meaning of life in each moment by dissolving all notions of ego-identity. It asks that spiritual seekers wake up to their true nature, which is already enlightened. Based on Buddhist wisdom traditions, this easy-to-read book discusses in simple, but profound and inspiring language, how we can live a life full of love, satisfaction, and happiness. No Self – No Problem

Sharon Salzberg — The Kindness Handbook

“It takes boldness, even audacity, to step out of our habitual patterns and experiment with a quality like kindness–to work with it and see just how it might shift and open up our lives. This book is an invitation to do just that. — From The Kindness Handbook