Buddhist Belief Blog

When we think about anger, we also need to give some thought to our words. Do we use different words when we’re angry than we do when we’re not? Do the words we choose have an effect on those who hear them? Here’s a story that fits in well with our Buddhist Belief subject we’ve been writing about — Anger. Words, used especially by those who we consider to be our leaders, can be more powerful than most people think. They can guide us or deceive us. They can make us knowledgeable or ignorant. They can make us sad or joyful, wise or foolish. Words can create powerful emotions – which in turn can lead us to act constructively or destructively.

The following story illustrates well what the power of words used in anger can do:

An old master of Buddhism spoke to his students: “Tonight I would like to speak to you about wise speech. According to the Buddha, wise speech is that which is truthful, gentle, helpful, spoken from a kind heart and is timely.”

Then he spoke at great length about the harm that results from rude, mean spirited, harsh or careless words. A young disciple said, “Venerable sir, I do not understand how this can be. A stone can bruise. Theft can deprive. But words are just sounds, having no substance. I must disagree with you when you suggest they are so powerful.”

The master replied, “If you weren’t such an ignorant idiot, you’d understand. So sit down, shut up and stop interrupting.”

The startled young man fell silent, but about 10 minutes later jumped to his feet, face red, eyes bulging, fists clenched, his whole body shaking.

The old man turned to him, “You seem perturbed. Your gentle disposition is shattered. What happened to you?”

“You hurtled harsh insults I did not deserve. You cannot possibly be the great teacher you pretend to be. You are a fraud!”

The old man responded, “Ah, I see. It was my words that had such a transforming effect upon you. It seems you and I agree that speech can be quite powerful.”

====================================================

There was this guy who wrote a book called “Entering the Bodhisattva Path” about 1200 years ago. He was known as Shantideva, the Gentle Master. He said, “Anger is the greatest evil; patient forbearance is the greatest austerity.” Interesting, huh? Why is anger the greatest evil? If you give it some thought, you will see how someone in a blind rage might get behind the wheel of a car. The person with such an anger could now be in control of a deadly weapon. I know I’ve driven a car when I was angry and I know how my way of driving changed drastically because of the anger. Most conflict, large or small, comes out of anger. Think about what happens to the words you use when you’re angry as compared to when you’re not.

As you all know, life isn’t always simple and easy, is it? When I write about practicing patience and forgiveness in the face of some of the injustices we’re seeing all around us these day, I get comments like, “Yeah, right, Rink! – I don’t feel very forgiving right now!” This is really tough – and I’m with you on this – it takes more than we realize to be patient and forgiving. There are plenty of times I have to struggle to find even a glimmer of patience and forgiveness in my soul. And yet, I’m a firm believer in expressing my activism with non-violence. I believe Gandhi and the Dalai Lama have it right. I also believe non-violence is possible once we commit ourselves to it. When people say it’s alright to go start a war just because of thus and so – well – that war is going to promote even more violence. This new violence will surely bring about even more violence. And so on and so on… The only way to stop this mad cycle of violence in the world is to finally realize it isn’t working and stop.

Certainly, we need to work externally for peace in the world, for disarmament among nations, and against injustice, racism, discrimination and genocide. Buddha said, “The gift of justice surpasses all gifts.” But, we also have to work from inside ourselves, don’t we? We have to find ways to “soften up”. Buddha also taught us about the good heart in each of us. This is not easy to understand because we’ve been taught since we were children to be tough – to be ready to defend ourselves against whatever. Disarmament is not just about war and weapons. It’s about fear, survival and vulnerability. So much of our aggression comes out of fear, egotism and dangers we think are out there.

Perhaps a good idea would be to find a way to just stop for a moment and ask ourselves, “Why am I angry?” Or, “Where does it hurt right now?” Take a moment to get in touch with what is going on rather than immediately lashing out at something or somebody. Another good one I’ve used is, “What would Buddha do about this?” Rather than just reacting it gives you a chance to be more creative in your response. You’ll be more comfortable and less fearful. So much of our anger comes out of fear. Peace is the result of working with our own mind. We don’t get peace by merely signing online petitions (although this is a good thing to do) or standing on a street corner waving a sign of protest about some issue you feel passionate about (which is also a good thing to do).

No, I believe in learning about peace from our Buddhist Beliefs. I believe in learning about peace through a daily time of meditation. Buddhism teaches us to cultivate loving-kindness, compassion, forgiveness, acceptance and mercy. It also teaches us to practice non-attachment, which will help us to eliminate greed and ignorance.

One of my friends who is reading my other blog, which is my memoir/novel called “Lost and Found”, noticed my comment at the beginning of the latest blog post there about how I was having trouble getting my writing muse to cooperate. As an astute observer of human foibles she wondered if I was letting anger over my health issues get in the way of my writing the way I wish to write. Even though I started writing about anger here in the Buddhist Belief blog last week, it is prompting me to continue to delve into this topic a bit further. Is there some hidden anger getting in the way of my writing?

So, we’ll see what comes out of more thinking and reading on this subject when it’s time to write next week.

In the meantime …..

Metta ….May all beings be well and happy. May all beings live in safety. May all beings be healthy and strong. May all beings live with ease.

Namaste — Be in Peace.

Ron Rink

=====================================================

Just click the links that are sort of Grey in color to take you to where you can learn more about each book and how you can purchase a copy for your own library.

Anam Thubten — No Self – No Problem

No Self – No Problem
shows how to realize the ultimate meaning of life in each moment by dissolving all notions of ego-identity. It asks that spiritual seekers wake up to their true nature, which is already enlightened. Based on Buddhist wisdom traditions, this easy-to-read book discusses in simple, but profound and inspiring language, how we can live a life full of love, satisfaction, and happiness. No Self – No Problem

Sharon Salzberg — The Kindness Handbook

“It takes boldness, even audacity, to step out of our habitual patterns and experiment with a quality like kindness–to work with it and see just how it might shift and open up our lives. This book is an invitation to do just that. — From The Kindness Handbook