As I grow older I find I’m much more aware of the drive for endless youth I see being jammed down our throats each day. I normally hit the mute button when the commercials come on the TV, but even with the sound off, I can see the consistency of the ads promoting a variety of ways to look younger, feel younger and act younger. Since one of the lessons those of us who study Buddhist Belief have learned is this – there are certain aspects of life which are unavoidable once we’re born. Among them are old age, illness and eventually, death. So, since all these ads are working to convince us we can be young forever if we just buy this or that product, we reach a point where disappointment takes over.

We learn the awful truth – “This stuff ain’t working!”

So, now what?

Ahh, there are more ads for the next step. Since we’re now depressed because we see ourselves losing the “youth battle” the ads offer more solutions – pills for depression – reality shows for our dreams of youth and sex – cosmetic surgery – or even items we won’t see advertised on TV — the alcohol, the psychedelics and the amphetamines. Oh, and don’t forget all those ads promoting unhealthy food products. Wow! Talk about feeding an addiction! (There’s a pun in there somewhere!)

Which brings me to what I want to write about today – addiction.

What I’m writing today are my own opinions, and I’m sure there are many of you who will disagree with what I have say, and it’s okay if you do. I truly believe we are now living in a culture of addiction. Perhaps I’m not wearing my rose-colored glasses today, but I do see a culture where people are addicted to drugs or alcohol or nicotine – or perhaps it’s work or sex, or people, or fast food, or our cell phones. We are addicted to finding ways to avoid reality. One of the most difficult things for many of us to do is to be mindful of what’s happening, right now, this moment, within us.

I’m not working outside the home anymore – but I’m still locked into the need (the addiction) to be producing “something” in order to feel self worth. At my age, I should be able to more kicking back and relaxing. When I was working, and what I see others around me going through every day, is something along these lines. The rush out of bed in the morning, usually awakened by an alarm clock. (I can recall how I despised waking up in a state of alarm.) While we shower we think about what we have to be ready for when we get to work – or we think about our breakfast which might be something “good for us” with vitamins, minerals, and fiber – or perhaps we do the opposite, and gulp down a cup of caffeine (another addiction I forgot to mention above), hit the McDonalds for a breakfast bagel and hope we get to work on time.

Then we also add in as many diversions as we can find – things like the sports on TV – or the aerobics class – or the civic meeting – or the reality TV program – or the trip to the local pub to plug into some social life and a little booze. And, how about the social networks – I know I need to muster up a ton of discipline to stay off Facebook for a couple of days.

It’s addicting! It’s all about being addicted!

I think it was Thich Nhat Nhan who said something about ‘missing our appointment with life’.

With all our busyness – we forget to look in the mirror and see who we really are. We’re too focused on avoiding the reality of who we are and of what is really happening, right now, this moment.

Since this is a blog about Buddhism, this may be the point where I need to talk about the teachings of Buddha, don’t you think?

Buddhism teaches us about the reason why we aren’t contented most of the time. There are basically two innate impulses – desire or attraction, which we call craving and clinging, and repulsion or aversion, which can turn into hatred. We want what we don’t have — and we want to get rid of what we don’t want that we do have.

The teachings go on to show us how we can become happier, more contented people, by reducing these attributes from our lives – these things which cause us to be dissatisfied or cause others to feel unhappy.

Buddhism shows us ways to become more aware of our actions and the consequences of those actions. It also teaches us how to develop the kind of actions which will bring us more satisfaction with our lives.

Buddhism isn’t about “good” or “bad” – rather it is about our actions, some which will make us happier and some which will bring us more pain. It is always up to us to choose our life actions. In general terms, Buddhism teaches us to be considerably less selfish and to give more to others. It encourages us to devote our lives to not bring harm to ourselves or to others.

In the case of addiction, it is clear from a Buddhist viewpoint that it can be seen as an overactive desire sense, that has gone way beyond normal limits, and which is harmful to ourselves. It is also important to acknowledge how we are all, in some ways, addicted to something. People who are addicted to something have become too solidly locked into a love of pleasure and are reaping the consequences of that lifestyle. It also means that their sense of identity is rewarded only when they indulge whatever they crave, and have thus become dependent upon their addiction. A firm sense of self-identity is based solely upon their habit, and without it, they feel invisible and non-existent. This is often termed an ‘addictive personality’ – they believe that life without ‘their fix’ is unbearable, not worth living, sad and boring. Such people have identified so strongly or solidly with the source of their pleasure that they believe life without it is not possible or is unthinkable. To at least some degree, they have lost control of their life.

Buddhism can help resolve our addictions in various ways. To begin with, it encourages moderation, abstention and self-control. Next, Buddhism encourages a sense of self-identity which is not based upon our desires, but rather, upon self-fulfillment and self-respect — a deep self-respect which seeks to do no harm to oneself or to others. It also encourages a harmless lifestyle of love and compassion, which in turn encourages reflection and self-analysis – also known as mindfulness.

As those of you who have been reading this blog for awhile know, I am a strong proponent of meditation — daily meditation. There are tons of articles on the Internet to show you how to do it — even though I don’t think all those rules really matter. Just sit somewhere quiet – take some deep breaths — and focus on your breath. Then say the following words to yourself over and over. If your mind wanders, gently bring your focus back to these words and your breath. This is a very short version of a meditation known as the Metta, or Lovingkindness mediation.

Try this …

Metta ….May I be well and happy. My I live in safety. May I be healthy and strong. May I live with ease. May all beings be well and happy. May all beings live in safety. May all beings be healthy and strong. May all beings live with ease.

Namaste — Be in Peace.

Ron Rink

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Just click the links that are sort of Grey in color to take you to where you can learn more about each book and how you can purchase a copy for your own library.

Anam Thubten — No Self – No Problem

No Self – No Problem
shows how to realize the ultimate meaning of life in each moment by dissolving all notions of ego-identity. It asks that spiritual seekers wake up to their true nature, which is already enlightened. Based on Buddhist wisdom traditions, this easy-to-read book discusses in simple, but profound and inspiring language, how we can live a life full of love, satisfaction, and happiness. No Self – No Problem

Sharon Salzberg — The Kindness Handbook

“It takes boldness, even audacity, to step out of our habitual patterns and experiment with a quality like kindness–to work with it and see just how it might shift and open up our lives. This book is an invitation to do just that. — From The Kindness Handbook